What do you Trust?
Surrendering to the idea that you have no idea. Trusting that you have innate guidance built inside of you, that knows what the freak it's doing. Listening to it even when it seems illogical or irrational... that my friends, is the practice.
Our natural inclination is to try figure things out. Wrap our brains around the problem, talk about it, patrol for fitting pieces + keep surveying the landscape of the problem or question, until we find the answer or solution.
Except we seldom do.
It's the whole seek, but do not find thing. The playful but trickster game of the ego or thinking mind. And man, have I been in it lately.
Meditate daily. Pray all day long. Ask for guidance but still the hamster wheel of my mind has been going + at full speed. The hamster in there has been brutalized. ;-)
When I texted my teacher about it she said... "Who do you think you can trust more? Candice or God?"
The jokes on me. Of course I know the answer, and yet, my small conditioned thinking wants me to ignore that. When she asked what I truly wanted I said - "Clarity. A deep inner knowing that requires no external validation."
She said, "How do you get that?" I, of course answered, "Spiritual practice. Connecting. Trusting. Listening." You see, I know the answers.
But knowing + living are two different things...
Which is why... we practice.